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Holly Jolly Season: A Narration Through The Years

December 14, 2015 in Inside The Envelope

Childhood

It's vacaaaaaaation. No homework, no projects, no waking up at 7 AM (except for cartoons). It's time to play all day.

But first, your mom has to case you in no less than 10 layers of insulation.

When your mom starts talking about getting a fake plastic tree, but the yearly trip to the Christmas tree farm is one of the highlights of your six-year-old life. 

Teenage years

When your parents drag you to their friend's dumb holiday dinners, you and your siblings are feeling surly about sitting through four hours of adult talk and repetitive questions about school, and your mom is trying to make you look presentable.

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But wait, what's this? That family friend you used to play blocks with has grown out of the acne phase and suddenly looks pretty cute.

Unfortunately, your parents notice and many jokes/interrogations are made at your expense.

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Upon arriving home, you rush to your room, slam the door, and pour your angsty feelings of parental humiliation and budding romance into your journal.

College

Relatives you haven't seen in a year are slowly gathering in the living room. You don't want to show just how much you've "learned" at college so far, so you try to take it easy......

....until your showoff cousin starts talking about their early graduation from their Master's program, the start-up they're working on, and the several job offers they're contemplating.

Finally, the whole family arrives and it's time to eat! Everyone trickles into the dining room and settles into their traditional holiday roles. Your loud uncle begins to tell one of his tall tales.

And you, after months of dorm food and microwave macaroni, are ready to devour some good home cooking. 

Twenties

Most of your entry level salary is gobbled up by student loan payments, groceries, and rent. You do your best to make your small studio apartment festive.

When you pay for priority shipping with your meager twenty-something budget, you constantly refresh the tracking updates and get antsy when the "expected delivery date" moves back a day.

A wave of your peers' holiday engagement announcements/photos/videos floods your social media.

You shake your head in disbelief. We're only......

And then you realize that you're at an age where getting engaged and settling down isn't so far-fetched after all. In fact, it's pretty expected.

Suddenly, you begin to evaluate everyone you meet as a potential life partner.

Adulthood

Your child's face all throughout December when they tell you all about what they want for Christmas and how extremely, very, astonishingly good they will be.

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Your child's face as soon they open those gifts on Christmas day and think about how they have the next 11 months to be naughty before being good again in December.

Your patience is sorely tested when your children refuse or insult unfamiliar food that they're served at holiday parties.

Meanwhile, you're enjoying the culinary excess too much.

Success! You managed to keep your kids distracted with a DVD long enough to bathe, primp, and clothe yourself like a real - and attractive - human being for the first time in months, just in time for your boss's Christmas party.

The babysitter arrives, and you plan to take advantage of every minute of this precious night off from parenthood.

Your face when you realize that your last baby is moving out soon and it's your last Christmas as your little family. The kids are all grown up.

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Tags: Home Alone, A Christmas Story, Love Actually, A Muppet Christmas Carol, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Elf, Bridget Jones's Diary, How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, Miracle on 34th Street
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